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Posts archive for: March, 2007
  • The State of the Modern Family

    That's the name of a report out today whose findings were that babies who attend nursery from 9 months are 'better behaved and less likely to experience developmental problems' than the average child. It's great to hear official sounding reports backing choices you have made for you own child, but I have found it is best not to take things too seriously - it's a safe bet there will be another report next week saying the opposite thing.

    Its all moot because we don't really have a choice, and I don't understand how many other people have a choice. If you want a decent house and decent opportunities for yourself and your children most families are going to need dual incomes. My wife would like to spend more time with Annabel, but she wants a career as well, she was already going stir crazy in the 6 months of maternity leave at home, some people need work to give themselves a certain level of satisfaction and to keep their brains stimulated. My wife and I both come from families where both parents worked full time, so there are cultural influences at work here as well.

    Having said all this it still hurts to hear the thoughts of those who don't approve of us not spending all the time we can with Annabel. If we thought it was hurting her in any way we'd sell up the house in a second and cut back on spending to accomodate all her needs, but if anything the opposite seems to be true - as the report predicted Annabel seems to be thriving at nursery. Mostly we get support of our decision, but what do I think of those who mutter disapproval? I say take a look at yourselves and the messages you are giving to your children about giving up on ambition by making the decisions you do.

  • journey home rage

    It's 8.15pm on the first day of my blog and a story of a journey home with plenty of material. My wife Charlotte works for a law firm that is family friendly, so she can leave at 5 on the dot. As we both work in Manchester city centre Charlotte walks to my office so I can leave at my finishing time of 5.30. Annabel's nursery shuts at 6pm, with a £10 fine for pickups, and the journey there is around 25 minutes - you may begin to see the problem.

    I am a stickler for punctuality. It's not the fine (we have been let off a couple of 5 minuters, they are a great nursery), it's eating into someone's evening that makes me want to get there on time. Charlotte is NOT a stickler for punctuality. She has no conception that 3 minutes late makes ALL the difference - cue a highly stressed drive home, including a Colin Mcrae style charge round Manchester's back street rat runs. I'm in a temper, Charlotte responds to my rage with hysterical laughter, I get madder, drive faster and faster, angrier and angrier... you know what I mean.

    As this blog develops I hope to show a theme that life is suddenly on a knife edge. I was so wound up that I went for a run when I got home and knocked 2 minutes off my best time - I used to play sport to get rid of stress but fatherhood has scuppered most of that, so I now have to run to manage my waistline. I hate running, but it's the best thing I know for calming stress.

    What is my point here? Probably, if I asked, my work would let me go 5 minutes early every night which would largely solve the problem, but I feel that's unfair on everyone else, I wanted to be a dad, I should take the consequences etc. Why doesn't our nursery, or any nursery for that matter, stay open until 6.30pm? But the nursery nurses have homes to go to, why should their evening be eaten into? So I guess my point here is that there are no easy answers, no-one is being victimised, and that maybe there is no way to bring up a family AND keep working AND live a calm life. Or is there? That's for another day - I've got a bottle to make up.

  • Background and beginning

    I am a working dad, with a working wife, and this is my blog about the trials and tribulations of a difficult balance. As well as the logistical difficulties such as the nightly charge to the nursery to avoid the late fine, the decision as to whether mum or dad takes the day off when Annabel (essentially the star of this story) is ill, and countless others, I will try and keep a record of the reaction we get to our decision to both keep working full time. I think it is the strength of this reaction, and the recent press about working mothers and the difficulties they face that has inspired me to get going.

    It's taken me most of my lunch to get this set up, so that's the end of part one. I'll fill in the missing details of my life as I go on, together with thoughts and reactions of a life that just gets busier and busier.

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